Setting the Stage

I want to explain to everyone why Jasen and I decided to renew our wedding vows. It wasn't just because it was our anniversary. I've wanted to do it for a few years now and Jasen finally understood why I did. It was time for us to make a new start, time to put the past behind us.

When Jasen and I met, we weren't in very good places. Really, I know I was in an awful place and Jasen will say he wasn't in a great place either. I won't go into it, but let's just say neither of us were very healthy. I can remember clearly, the day after we met, sitting in a booth at the Schlotzsky's in Stephenville, God whispering to me that this was the person He had for me for the rest of my life. Truly, it's like the heavens opened up and shined a glorious light on Jasen. That didn't happen literally, but I remember feeling a whole "Uh-oh" feeling because I felt God's nudging.

Flash forward a year and a half and we get married. Our wedding was done on a shoestring budget: minimal attendants, minimal flowers, cheap photographer, handmade dress, etc. We, I mean, I was poor and my parents helped only a little. That was fine, but looking back at our pictures, I always felt a twinge of sadness that our wedding day wasn't everything I had dreamed it would be. I had wanted just Jasen, me, and the fewest of people; I compromised and had more people there than I wanted. I liked my dress, but never got to try on wedding dresses. My hair was, well, let's put it this way: I had the same hairstyle at my wedding in 1998 that my grandmother had at my mom's wedding in 1972. We like to call it "alien" hair! Whew, it was bad.

Needless to say, there were some things I wanted to do over.

Shortly before we were married, the army informed Jasen that, six months after our marriage, he would be going to Korea without me. So along with the "getting used to living together" stress, we also had the added dark cloud of a 12 month separation on the horizon. Those first few months together were anything but blissful. We were stressed and afraid.

After Jasen's Korea deployment, we dealt with a lot of stuff that no young married couple should have to deal with. Some was self-induced, some was not. The military lifestyle added a lot of stress, we allowed ourselves to be put in detrimental situations, etc. At one point, Jasen and I both had the option of walking away from our marriage with a clear conscience. I praise God that He gave us the strength and courage to stay put. I'll say it was the best decision I ever made and I'd like to think Jasen would, too.

Flash forward to 2003. At that time, we're in Germany, experiencing the world, and some of the happiest times in our marriage. It was at that point that the idea of renewing our wedding vows first crept into my consciousness. Because there were things I would have done differently at our first wedding and our marriage had survived so much, I began to think that a renewal would be fun and significant. I also felt that it would be completely appropriate as a fresh start.

When we left Germany in 2005, I was really sad because we hadn't renewed our vows. I had dreamed of doing it in a grand cathedral, just us and the Pundts, our friends, spiritual mentors, and counselors. Since we left Germany early, it didn't look like that would happen.

Then God, in all His goodness, mercy and love, placed us here in Charleston, just before our 10th anniversary, with the Pundts just down the road, with the beach and ocean, part of God's great cathedral, just a few miles down the road. I felt God telling me to do it and Jasen agreed. And that's what led us to October 3, 2008.

I'll blog more about the actual ceremony in a few days. I'd love to wait for the pictures, but I probably won't. That might be too long!