Pardon Me for a Post

Almost four years ago, I began this blog at the urging of my grandmother-in-law, who thought it might make it easier for me to keep her up-to-date on her "great-grands". I had trouble keeping Mrs. Graham as informed as she would have liked! She wanted to know everything and loved Grace and Davis with all of her heart. We miss her tremendously, even though we didn't see her very often.

I have tried to keep this blog mostly about the kids and what our family has done on our journeys around this country. I plan to keep it that way. However, after reading a few of my friends' blogs, I have felt inspired to share some of my deeper thoughts. I don't intend for this blog to become my journaling-outlet (is that good English??), but there are going to be times I will. Especially when what I am thinking about is too long for me to want to write out in my real journal. Isn't that pitiful?

I've been struggling with our upcoming move. A lot of you already know that, but I've had a "perspective change" that I wanted to share with you. I wrote the other day that the kids' bedtime Bible story was about Sarai and Abram and how they were told by God to go to a different land. What did they do? They said "Yes, God," packed up their stuff and got on their way to a land they had no idea about, even it's location.

While Jasen was reading the story, a most precious 4 year old said "Mom, is that like us? Like we are going to move from here?" We all smiled at Davis' question and I told him that, yes, that was like us. God via the Army tells us where to go and we do it.

The next day in my Lent reading, a God-incidence: Genesis 12:1-4a. Yep, that's God telling Abram and Sarai to "'Leave your country, your people, your father's household and go to the land I will show you.'" And what did Abram do? "So Abram left as the Lord had told him." The same verse/story in one day's time? Yep, I needed to glean something from this.

What did I glean? My perspective has been all wrong. You all wouldn't believe the thoughts I have had. Well, some of you would. I have been moping, blaming the Army for not giving me the life I thought I would have. As I have mentioned before, I (and my parents and probably most of the people who knew me prior to say, oh, 2000) never thought I'd leave the North Texas area. In fact, when I did leave and had to go live in "Texoma," (the part of OK that is so close to TX, it's a part of the region moniker) I was devastated. There was some part of my being that never wanted to leave the D/FW area.

And yet, when I fell in love and felt God's pulling of me toward Jasen, that's just what I did. And what happened? I have been blessed beyond what I can tell you. The spiritual growth and experiences I have had have been too numerous to count. I don't doubt that God would have grown me if I had stayed planted in good ole Stephenville, where the Yellow Jackets play. However, I don't know how it would have been accomplished.

Never mind the earthly treasures I have seen that were once only a dream!

I forgot that when I am angry at the Army (and, by association, Jasen) for taking away that nicely planted life I had planned, I was actually angry at God. Because in the end, so many of us know it isn't the Army that is in control. It's God. I firmly believe that when the Army tells us to go or stay, it's because it was God's plan all along. He has gone before us to prepare that place. He will be with us while we are there and when we move onto the next place. I had to stop wasting my time, longing for the life I thought I wanted, and get busy living the life God intended me to have. Yes, this life has been challenging, very hard at times, but it's been so rewarding.

I mean, how else would I have made friends who are from Boston, Seattle, and all kinds of places in between? How else would I have seen the faith of the Smith family, whose precious Kennedy was taken? How else would I have experienced the golf at St. Andrews? How else would I have met Greg Gadson and his wife, Kim, who inspire me with their endless energy and positive attitude? How else would I have seen the community outreach of JCNaz? How else would I have seen the Swiss Alps? How else would I have learned to deal with placing someone you love on the altar of God EVERYDAY? And learning He would take care of it? The list goes on and on....

I know God could have taught me those things, brought those people into my life, and given me those experiences. It's just hard to tell from my earthly eyes how that would have happened if I had that planted life, that life that I see, whether correct or not, as a little bit easier than the one God chose for me.

So I am changing my perspective. I am thanking God that He has gone before and I am being genuine. I am thanking God for bringing us here. I am thanking God for all He has done before and all He will do after our move. And I am thanking Him for changing my perspective. Because in the end, we need to set our eyes on the things above, not the things of this world that drag us down...