Alo-ha-ha

Two weeks ago tomorrow, we found out where the Graham family is going next: Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.  Now, let me fill you in on some cool things about that: Hawaii was #1 on our list.  Jasen wanted to put it there and, although I would have preferred Ft Lewis, outside of Seattle, WA, I said go for it.  Because every army wife knows no one gets their first choice. 

Well, the joke was on me!  I don't know why, but the day I knew we were going to find out was pure torture for me. Thankfully, I had PWOC that morning and I am currently leading a study, so I knew I would be distracted for at least two hours!  Jasen's appointment with the field artillery assignments officer, wasn't until 1:15, so after PWOC, I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Once again, God provided a way for the tension to be bearable.  I came home after PWOC, really on the edge, and asked God to show me how to deal with my anxiety.  I had a Kari Jobe CD my friend Jen gave me.  I turned that baby on (and up!) and just bowed down in my living room floor, full of worship.  I reflected back on how God has provided, blessed, and amazed us with every other assignment He has given us through the Army.  That hour or so was so precious to me.  I hope I'll remember how good that felt next time I am being taken away by nervousness.

Jasen had told me he would text me when he knew what we were getting.  Imagine my shock when he texted me that we were going to Schofield and he had to be there by JUL 15.  Shock.  Truly, I am not sure I am over the shock yet.  After his meeting, Jasen went back to school, but ducked out early so we could talk.  When he got home, I hugged him with all of my might and then collapsed in giggles and crying.  I mean, NO ONE gets their #1.  It's still shocking.

At that point, Jasen told me the best news in the whole deal: the unit he was assigned to was currently deployed, but would be back in August, which meant he wouldn't have to join them downrange.  Typing that, it sounds wrong.  But I think most of you out there know that if Jasen needed to deploy, he'd go and we'd deal with it.  But at that time, I was elated to know he wouldn't be deploying right away.

Those great feelings were dashed just a few days later, on Sunday, when Jasen got an email from his sponsor in the unit he is going to.  We were still going to Hawaii, but Jasen was now going to a different unit who just deployed in December.  That meant that Jasen was expected in Hawaii no later than JUL 15, and in Iraq, no later than 1AUG.

Well, didn't that just send me for a loop.  And Jasen, too.  I can't tell you what it's like to think you know what the plan is, then find out that the cards have been knocked out of your hands, scattered all over the ground for you to look at and wonder what in the world just happened.

One thing that happened is our plans completely changed.  Now, instead of us going as a family to Hawaii in July, Jasen will go without us.  Since he was going to deploy only two weeks after we arrived, that didn't give us anytime to get our house, our stuff, our car, etc.  I didn't want to start out our time in such a new and different place without Jasen  Honestly, after the last few years, I have realized that, although I am a decent military wife, the moving isn't in my nature.  And I wouldn't be moving to Hawaii if not for Jasen and I don't want to be there without him.

Grace and Davis have taken the news of Hawaii really well.  Both seem to be really excited.  We haven't told Davis about the change of plans.  It's too early and would only give him a lot of time to think about things that would probably make him anxious.  Grace is handling the news of Jasen's deployment well.  We are all buoyed by the fact that Jasen will only be deployed for about six months. 

The kids and I will stay here at Ft. Leavenworth, where we know the schools, have a great church, and a really good support system of a little bit of family, friends, and some retirees.  It won't be easy, but I think we'll do better here than in Hawaii without Jasen.

So, for now, our Hawaii assignment is on hold.  And I prefer to say "Alo-ha-ha!"